Body Image

BODY IMAGE AND CONFIDENCE (inspiration hitting from ‘high art’ by Morgan J) + gravity by Anike  

 

I recently went to Nigeria with my family, for the 90th birthday party of my dad’s mum, and it was actually the first time I had been to Nigeria. It was amazing to see and experience (especially to see that it’s exactly like the films show it to be lol). But something I wasn’t particularly expecting to face were body image issues. Granted, I understand that Nigerians are unfiltered in the way they speak, especially when it comes to how a person looks. But for some reason, their words got to me more than I would like to admit. I even remember feeling unsure about swimming at our hotel pool. I had asked my auntie for a swimsuit and all, excited for it. But I just became so outrageously conscious of my thighs, arms, even the way I looked from the back. I didn’t want to get undressed, even though I wanted to swim. I felt like crying to be honest. It's awful to feel like that, especially when you haven’t looked at yourself so negatively in a long time. However, something I heard is how God may allow us to experience or feel certain things to show us parts of ourselves that are yet to be touched by Him. And even amid that fact, God is kind! There was one Sunday when I went to Church a couple of weeks ago and felt superr confident. But what can happen after a couple of days - and what I felt happening – is that those compliments sort of fade into the background. The more prominent, established thoughts come back to the front. And if someone is dealing with an intensely negative mind, that could be thoughts that tell them they’re ugly, they should hide away, no one will be attracted to them etc. And I think when someone is dependent on those compliments to keep them going, you generate an unhealthy cycle – only feeling beautiful when someone else tells you that you are. In other words, needing validation from others. Lately I’ve realised that my desire to be validated, chosen, called pretty etc. was deeply rooted, and superficial. Having realised this, I’ve made the decision to ask God to help me see myself the way He sees me, and to fuel myself with Godly content that coincides with this (hence, this week’s song). ‘I want to believe it because You say it, and not because of any compliment,’ will likely be along the lines of what I say to God. Obviously, we love a compliment here and there, and we love to give them. But I don’t want any dependency on them –it’s a problem.

 

Maybe you thought you were healed from these thoughts – like me – but you find them rising again. That’s okay, we are all a work in progress. Likewise, when God shows you those remnants, and you’re looking in the mirror and feeling impartial about what you see, don’t automatically agree with the negative thoughts. Instead, ask God, ‘What do You say about me?’

 

What God says about you

 

I often wonder why body image and insecurity about the way you look is such a widespread epidemic, felt by practically every young person at some point. But when people qualify or disqualify you by this thing, your school experience is defined by this thing, it’s easy to see why. I suppose we shouldn’t be so shocked, when even the Bible says, in 1 Samuel 16:7, “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” For context, Saul sins and disobeys an instruction given to him by the Lord, where God is said to regret making Saul king over Israel (Chapter 15 verse 35). Following this, God sends Samuel to Bethlehem, specifically to Jesse of Bethlehem – King David’s father – so that he can anoint David as the new king. This verse comes about when God is going through all the sons of Jesse. When Samuel sees them, as a human would, he takes note of their fine appearance and strong stature and determines that they are who God has called. But one by one, God disagrees, and continues to sift through, until He sees David, and announces that he is the one who has been chosen. We could gather from this passage that Samuel uses looks and stature as a qualifying value, reasoning and concluding that if they look this way, they will be prosperous and successful, associating good looks with positive connotations. And if we think about it, we do the exact same today! People wanting to be friends with others because they both look or dress a certain way, being embarrassed by someone because they have a body shape that isn’t deemed as ‘in’. Even as I type it out, it all seems ridiculous! And what’s worse is that we can determine our own worth by these superficial things, feeding into what we are told by others. How can we fight back when we don’t know the truth? Of course, our mind will be full of what the world says about us if we don’t know what God says about us; we only have the wrong thing to meditate on! So, as we’ve begun by understanding that God does not care about the superficial, let’s look at what God says about, you what He deems as important, and how we can heal.

 

What God says about you – verses

 

  • Psalm 139:14 -> “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” I think it’s very fitting to start with this verse. It’s one that I have dedicated to memory because all day every day I need an infallible retaliation method for the thoughts that can pop up in my head. Granted, I don’t think I’ve weaponised it as much as I should be. So be better and do that please! I also will be working to be better at doing this!

 

  • Ephesians 2:10 -> “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” You know, a thought I just had was that, if God Himself has created us to do wonderful things - in particular, for others – there must be something He has planted within us to enable us, no? So, walk round with a confidence, that God made you to help better this place. For those struggling with self-image, know that you are called and valuable.

 

  • Genesis 1:26-27 -> “26 Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,[a]and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” 27 So God created mankind in his own image,  in the image of God he created them;    male and female he created them.” Similar to the above, these are the truths you want to connect your identity too. It can be so easy to connect your worth with your appearance, or by how people value you. But that is unstable; God’s Word provides a sure and stable foundation to you building a confident and faithful character.

 

 

What God says is important – verses

 

  • Proverbs 30:31 -> “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” I think this verse just emphasises that which is sure, and that which is fleeting. Beauty and charm come under the fleeting category. Meaning, their presence, as of now, is undeniable and very real, but it fades. So, it cannot be what is most important. What would happen when it fades? Can what makes us important really disappear with time? Would God make such a design?

 

  • 1 Peter 3:3-4 -> 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes.4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” A creation that was made in His image; would He tie their value to something fleeting? It’s a question to ask yourself, continuing on from the verse above. Understand that this verse says there is an unfading beauty in a gentle and quiet spirit. Someone sold for God, someone who allows Him to transform their inner selves.

 

  • 2 Timothy 3:16-17 -> “16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,17 so that the servant of God[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Despite my Nigeria hiccup, I have to give testament to how much the Lord has helped me with insecurity. It’s difficult to even initially accept that insecurity is rooted in pride (as we place an intense focus on the limitations/failings/incapability/ restriction/shortcomings of ourselves and take off God as our main focus). It honestly seems like the complete opposite at first. But breaking it down was comforting – it’s comforting to see that you feel this way because you’re focused on something you are not meant to be. It’s not right, and it’s not something we have to play into. Instead, fix your eyes on His Word.

 

  • Do Not Worry -> Have to include the entire passage tbh!
  • Matthew 6:25-34 -> 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Honestly, I think this passage just paints the whole picture. God knows our needs and understanding this is a fundamental. He is our Creator; He will know what we need more than we do. Considering this, there are things He tells us we do not need to worry about. This includes our body, and God says this explicitly. Think about all it is your body can do. It can jump, run, think, reason. These things are amazing. Sit in awe some days. It’s something I don’t do so often, but I think it will help us cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

 

Moving forward - verses

 

  • Luke 4:24 -> “Truly I tell you,” He continued, “no prophet is accepted in his hometown.” I believe the Lord put this one on my heart to get across that Jesus understands. He too was rejected, specifically by those who were familiar with Him. A place that should usually make you feel like you belong, and are accepted, became a principal place He felt rejection. A perfect person being hated? Please understand that there is no amount of personal compromise, no level of beauty, nor perfect body proportion, that could win the approval of man. These standards are tiresome and troublesome, making you think there’s only one way to be loved or respected. Understand that Jesus Christ Himself was hated. There is nothing to do except accept that Jesus loves you.

 

  • Psalm 30:2 -> “LORD my God, I called to You for help, and you healed me.” This one doesn’t mention looks at all. But this one is for those who know, suspect or fear they have been negatively impacted by negative words or thoughts, said to you by either yourself or others. I pray for your healing. I pray that you will see yourself the way God sees you, adopt that love expressed to you by God, and share that with others, IJMN.

 

  • John 14:27 -> Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” Similar to Psalm 30:2, I just pray that you experience God’s peace. The peace that surpasses all understanding, that you are absolutely entitled to. No amount of love from man can give you the peace of mind God gives. He is all you need.

 

 

CONCLUDING REMARKS

 

If only man looked at the heart! Can we even imagine how different life would be for so many people? I say that although we may be small in number, as Christians we should aim to always reflect Christ as well as possible. Now knowing what He values, we should go out into the world and show genuine love for all, because God loves them and sees them as fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Not disqualifying them before they have shown us who they are and the fruit they bare. In this way, God can be glorified, and we are proven to be His disciples! (John 15:8).

 

I hope these verses encourage and bless you, going into this new week.

Thank you for reading, I love you with the love of God!

 

R x